TV in Korea

As the devout introvert that I am (it's true even if you don't believe me), since arriving in Seoul I have spent many a weekday night at home alone, recovering after a long day spent with crazy, small children. As a result of this, I have watched a fair amount of television. A lot of that television has been viewed on my computer, but there is just something about flipping channels that makes me want to watch my TV, even if I can only understand the programming on four or five stations. Luckily, my inability to understand the dialogue does not always hamper my ability to be amused. Why I love Korean TV:

1. They show an inordinate amount of roller derby on one of my stations. I have never seen roller derby on TV in the US, but here, apparently, American roller derby is very popular. It's not something that can entertain me for very long, but it's a good ten-minute laugh.

2. Then I can move on to the many home shopping networks. Now, many of you know that I love home shopping networks in the US because I think it exposes me to a slice of American life that I don't often experience. When Betty Lou calls in to tell the host, Betsy Sue, just how much she loves her god awful, ugly as sin, Diamondique-Turquoiseish-Opalesque ring, I can't help but have a little smile on my face. So when I watch shopping networks in Korea, I am a little sad that I can't understand the dialogue. But the things that are sold on the shopping networks here are wonderful. Just last night I was watching a program for an electric toilet seat that has a built in seat warmer, in case you were hankering for that The person who sat here before me clearly took a very long shit sensation. The toilet also has a tiny, adjustable spout that comes out of the back acting as a built in bidet, since everyone enjoys a little water squirt on the ass now and again. But apparently, Koreans go for this stuff, as I have, on occasion, seen these complicated, multi-buttoned toilet seats at some bars and restaurants. I have not however had the guts to push any of the buttons for fear that something disastrous may happen. I don't know what type of disaster it could be, but frankly, I prefer to keep my toilet experiences as non-complex as possible. However, if your feelings about toilet seats differ from mine, there is an American company that sells these gems called (I am not making this up) Clean Butt.

3. I also really enjoy watching basketball here. It seems very popular, and I hope to see a game live at some point. What I like best about basketball here is that each team has one black guy who basically does everything. He brings the ball up and then he plays center, maybe steps out as a guard, and most definitely does all of the rebounding. (I haven't seen any white guys playing - not sure why that is??) However, there is one team with two black guys, and this just seems entirely unfair. Having two people who actually play basketball, twice as many as the other teams - how are the other teams possibly going to compete?

4. After my sports and shopping fix, I inevitably pass the most ridiculous station ever put on TV, and no, I'm not talking about the E Network. It's a station that is dedicated entirely to teaching math. It's just some person with a white board teaching basic algebra through calculus. Who in the world is watching this programming. My father was a high school math teacher, and I'm pretty sure he wouldn't sit at home watching someone solve math problems. Hopefully, they will soon figure what a waste of a station this is and they will change it to another home shopping channel.

5. If I am done with roller derby, had enough home shopping, seen the black guy dunk over the tiny Koreans one too many times, and have completed the brief moment of confusion I experience every time I see the math station, I move on to watching commercials. This is mostly entertaining because you get to guess the purpose of the commercial, which is often not obvious. My favorite commercial is one that features a cartoon cabbage and a live Korean actress. It opens with the cartoon cabbage in the bathroom crying because his leaves are falling out, and the girl seems to be asking him what is wrong. Then he has an idea, and we cut to him in the living room proudly wearing a wig made of cabbage, as the girl laughs at him. What could possibly be the intention of this commercial? Are they advertising that they can make wigs for anyone, even vegetable people? Are they selling a product that makes rotten vegetables appear edible? I have no idea what the product being advertised really is - if you have a guess let me know.

6. Finally, when the Korean entertainment wears thin, I turn back to my old stand by - the Style On Network. Its programming is almost entirely comprised of reality competition shows such as America's Next Top Model, Project Runway, and Top Chef. If however, it's an episode of the Kim Kardashian Show (I still have no idea why she's famous), then I flip to the Discovery Channel or one of the three or four movie stations. Basically, there's enough on my TV to entertain me, and on the occasions when it does fail, I turn to my computer. I just watched the pilot episode of Charles in Charge on Netflix, and I'm not gonna lie - I really enjoyed it!

Visiting Olympic Park

Sorry that I haven't been blogging very often. As I guessed it would be, blogging is much harder to do when you aren't stuck in front of a computer all day work, trying to avoid doing work. But I'll be better - at least one entry a week, if not more.

It has been in the high forties here for the last few days, which has drawn me away from my winter hibernation behavior. As I despise being cold, since I arrived I have spent a lot of evenings and weekends hiding in my room trying to avoid going outdoors. But spring like weather is here (for a short while at least), and yesterday I finally made it out of my apartment for a visit to the Olympic Park, site of the 1988 Summer Olympics. As a lover of all things Olympics, I've been pretty anxious to check out the park, so yesterday afternoon, I strapped on my tennis shoes and took a nice little jog. Of course by "nice little jog" I mean "painful experience that highlighted just how out of shape I am." But at least I was on my way to an Olympic adventure.

Once at the park I wandered in the front entrance and first found myself surrounded by strip malls of chain restaurants - not exactly what I was looking for. Then, as I progressed further in I came upon a giant cement plaza packed full of people. So basically I'm thinking - leave it to Seoul to call a bunch of cement a park, and sweet Jesus, isn't there any place in this city that doesn't have a mob of people packed shoulder to shoulder. However, I quickly realized that this was not your typical gaggle of Seoulsters. (I considered using Seoulites and Seoulians, but I like Seoulsters.) This crowd was made up almost exclusively of 12-15 year old girls running in large packs, screaming and laughing. At first, I found this unexplained phenomenon very scary, as it is intimidating to have packs of wild Asian girls screaming and running right for you. It reminded me of the time when I was three or four and I was feeding the ducks at Milham Park. I was enjoying my time with the friendly little ducks, when suddenly this overwhelming raucous started behind me and the noise just kept getting louder and louder as it grew closer and closer. When I turned, I saw a huge pack of geese running for me, honking at the top of their lungs, and it was clear that they were going to take me out to get my bread. So I did the only logical thing. I screamed, dropped my bread, and ran to my dad for protection. Luckily, at Olympic Park I didn't have any bread in my hands, and I was a good bit taller than the running girls, which had not been the case with the geese. I soon discovered that the proverbial bread the girls were seeking was Big Bang paraphernalia. Now Big Bang is the "Best Korean Hip Hop Band," and apparently, they had a concert that night at one of the Olympic stadiums. (I highly recommend checking out one of their videos). The girls were running through the plaza collecting Big Bang stickers, buttons, and what appeared to be a plastic, Big Bang torch. Once I realized that there was no threat of being trampled, I found the whole thing very entertaining and stood and watched the melee for at least 20 minutes.

After I had exhausted the entertainment value of absurd, boy crazy, teenage girls, I continued through the plaza and found just behind it, a huge park full of grass, trees, and little ponds and streams. Turns out there is a little bit of nature in Seoul, and I thoroughly enjoyed my afternoon wandering around the park and taking in the sites. I also enjoyed watching people stare at me, as if I were some kind of natural wonder... if I were at a state fair the sign would read - Giant White Woman Who Walks Twelve Times Faster than Everyone Around Her, Only $1 to See Her! My favorite part of the whole park, however, was the garbage cans. I realize that this a strange thing to enjoy, but the Korean's have a way of making things entertaining. The garbage cans were grouped in sets of four, each with pictures to identify what should be placed in each bin. One had pictures of plastic items, another had pictures of tin and aluminum cans, and there was also one with paper products - this is all seemed rather logical. However, the remaining bin, which I assumed was for general trash had pictures of three of the least likely items I can imagine you might throw away. There was a tennis racket, a baby bottle, and what appeared to be a spoon with a smiley face drawn on it. Who is throwing these things away, especially at a park?

So that was my excitement for yesterday. Today, I finally made it out to play frisbee, and it was awesome. As I write this, I'm pretty sore, but it was well worth it. Got to play, got some exercise, made lots of new friends, and I'm already committed to playing in two tournaments this spring. After playing, six of us went and got some stellar Indian cuisine, chatted, and smoked a little hookah. It was a very productive day.